Mocking
by corkcircle
Summary: The aftermath of the Games.


"You can't see her tonight."

It was an answer that had become a constant thorn in his side.

He was never allowed to see her. Her parents or her nurses used to come up with an excuse for that day- "she's busy," "she's not here," "she's sick"- until they realized that he wouldn't stop coming. So eventually they stopped coming up with excuses. For months now, the brief "you can't see her tonight" was the only explanation and excuse he was gifted with.

He didn't know why he couldn't see her. They were inseparable before the Games. Even during the Games they relied on each other. They had acknowledged their mutual feelings for each other long before the Reaping which made the events that followed so much more difficult.

He didn't want her to go to the Games alone so he went. Barely thinking of the implications of his actions, he was throwing his shoulder into the mass of people in front of him until he reached the stage- until he reached her.

Now he was standing outside her silent Victor's home in the frigid snow.

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He had bribed the cook.

The cook was to let him in when the nurse left for her daily errands. Then he would sneak in and visit her.

She was a prisoner in her own mansion, he believed. He didn't understand why.

After the Victory Tour they had come home. They saw each other for the first week and then she suddenly stopped coming to the door when he knocked. Instead, a nurse or her parents came.

Her first nurse killed herself after only a few weeks. Rumors went around the district that she felt so much sorrow for her patient that she could no longer stand it. Of course, those were just rumors because his partner was ok. She had to be.

He was immediately worried.

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He carefully peeled the door open to her prison. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous- after all, she _had _to be ok.

His head peeked over the side of the door, wide and anxious eyes roaming over every object in the room until they stopped on a huddled figure sitting in a rocking chair in an ill-lit corner of the room.

He didn't recognize her at first. Her once tame hair was unbrushed and uncut. She had never been able to gain a tan but she had always looked alive. Now, she looked like a corpse. Her white skin looked matched the white marble pillars of her house. He wasn't able to see her eyes but he was certain they were sunken. To be a serious contender for the Games, she had needed to gain fifteen pounds. It was near impossible for her to do so. She tried for weeks and finally gave up after she could only gain ten. Now, she had lost enough weight to where he could see her bones sticking out in unnatural places.

"Hey," He whispered, sneaking around the door and quietly closing it behind him. She didn't move when he came in. He heard some indistinct whispering coming from her.

"Hey," He tried again, moving closer to her. "It's me." Still no reaction. He took a few steps closer to her. "Can you hear me?" His anxiety began to rapidly increase when she still didn't acknowledge his presence. He took a deep breath and stood in front of her. "It's me. Can you hear me?" He kneeled to crouch in front of her, hoping desperately that she would snap out of whatever she was in and recognize him.

When he kneeled he had put his hand on top of her knee for balance. It was something so minuscule he didn't realize he had done it in the first place. But she had noticed.

The moment itself couldn't have lasted for longer than a second but, to him, that second seemed to drag on, allowing him to check every detail of her face when she jerked up to look at him. The dangerous beauty that once composed her face was now replaced by bruises along her temples and angry red scratches dispersed along her face at random. The passionate torch housed in her eyes was dormant. They were hollow. Her eyes were bloodshot- they looked almost as painful as the emotion that swirled in them.

He couldn't place the emotion. There was horror, sorrow, anger, fear, remorse- so many emotions he didn't think she had ever felt before. But now, they were all fighting for dominance in her eyes. Eyes that had once been so precious to him. Eyes that would meet his own across the room. Eyes that would communicate with him when words couldn't or weren't allowed.

And suddenly, time unfrooze and he was thrown back into reality with her.

"No!" She screeched. The pained vibrations of her voice allowed him to realize that her voice hadn't been used in a very long time. "Stay away!"

"It's me! I'm not going to hurt you," He put his hands up in surrender, hoping she would recognize him. Did he really look that different?

"Leave me alone! I killed them- what else do you want?" She crawled to the corner farthest from him. She began to scratch at her head and only after he saw something floating from her hands did he realize she was pulling her hair out.

"Stop that," He reached out to grab her hands. Her scream made him step back. "I'm sorry! I won't touch you. Please," He pleaded with her. She began to rock back and forth, tapping her head with palms. He slowly sat down against the wall, careful to keep enough distance between them.

Except for the quiet slap of her hands against her head, the room was silent.

He lost track of how long he sat there watching her, not sure what to say or do until her quiet whisper jolted him.

"Mocking. Always laughing. Can't climb the tree. So cold and hungry but don't let them know. Don't die. Stay alive. You're just a child. _They're just children!" _She screamed. Her hands became more rapid now, beating hard against her head. "Just children. One bird two bird. Answer the questions. Smile. Don't flinch. It will all be over soon."

He slowly stood up and kneeled in front of her.

"Hey, kiddo. Can you hear me?" Her scrambled mutterings froze and she looked him in the eye.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, her eyes blurred with tears of terror.

"I've been trying to see you. They keep saying I can't see you but I had to. After the Victory Tour you just disappeared and I was worried."

"You need to leave. Please," The whisper was desperate.

"I don't want to leave you. I want to help you. What's going on? You didn't even go to the Victor's party President Snow threw-" His sentence was cut short by her screaming. Her hands flew over her ears and she began to thrash. Loud, manic screams ripped out of her and bounced off the walls. He fell back, fearful for her and of her.

The door was thrown open and her nurse came running in.

"Three bird four bird never laughing," The nurse had to scream to be heard. Instantly, his old lover stopped everything. She sat back up and began to rock again, tapping her head.

"Mocking. Always laughing. Can't climb the tree. So cold and hungry but don't them know…"

He stared at her.

"Follow me," The nurse commanded him out of the room. He humbly followed.

"What happened to her?"

"What do you think? Her mind has broken."

"But how? She survived," The nurse coldly laughed.

"Survived? Maybe her body did. Her mind was doomed from the second her name was called. Everyone who survives slowly dies afterwards. Some turn to liquor, some to drugs, some to reliving the tortuous situations they were forced into. Some," She shrugged towards the door. "Can't handle the trauma and their brains break and they can't move past certain events."

"She…" His eyes began to water. "You mean she's stuck reliving the Games?" The nurse shrugged.

"Who knows? She's like a broken record ever since she got here. No one knows what's going on in her mind. It's probably the Games or something stemming from that time."

His heart hammering, he turned to the door. "She's stuck in there," He whispered. "She's trapped in her own mind. How do we get her out?"

"You can't. Hopefully, she'll snap out of it one day but until then…"

Her occasional scream from the other side of the door slapped him across the face. She was in trouble and he couldn't help her.

"You need to leave," The nurse was saying.

"I can't just leave her like this. She's my partner and she nee-"

"She was your partner," The nurse cut in. "Look," A hint of sympathy weaved its way into her voice. "The girl who was your partner… she's gone now. And she's probably not coming back. It's best for everyone if you just moved on and walked away."

"I'm not leaving her. Ever." His voice was unwavering.

"I'm not in the mood to deal with two maniacs today." The nurse walked over to the wall right outside her room and pressed a small button.

"What are you doing?"

"If you're not going to leave on your own then I'm calling in the Peace Keepers."

"No, stop! I need to see her!" He turned around to rush through the door when the soldiers burst the door open downstairs.

He made a mistake and froze to look at them.

He was a Victor. He brought glory to his district. He came home alive. He was popular in the Capital. The President adored him. He wasn't supposed to be wrestled to the ground by the Peace Keepers.

"Stop! Please! Let me see her! She needs to know I'm here!" He tried to fight the guards off of him but there were too many and he couldn't focus. He just had to get into her room and help her because she was his partner and the only person he loved and he needed to see her and she needed to know he was alive-

A heavy but swift fist colliding with his jaw sent him to the ground. The guards gained control of the situation and heaved him up and walked him out of her house.

"You don't understand!" He was yelling at the nurse- the guards- her- anyone who would listen. "She needs me! She can hear me! Please just let me see her!" A soldier shoved him in his back towards the general direction of his house.

"You are to stay away from her and her house. That's an order." Anger like he hadn't felt since the Games began to swim through his blood.

"It's going to take a lot to take me away from her."

He walked into his house and slammed the door.

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"Leave me alone!" She screamed, grabbing the nearest object.

He wanted to see her again. It had been a week since his visit. He wanted to go back that very night but he was forced to plan his visit around her increased security.

So when it was dark and her nurses had left for the night, he walked across the street to her house, climbed the wall and carefully pulled up her window. Her instincts were still incredible because she woke up the second he stepped into her room.

"Hey, kiddo," He whispered. Recognition in her eyes met his.

"You can't be here."

"I wanted to see you again. I wanted to talk to you about-"

"About my break, I know. You can't do anything. The nurses can't do anything. Even I can't do anything," She choked out.

"Isn't there something we can try?"

"No, love. I don't think there is." A stillness settled in the room for a few minutes before her quiet sobs broke the spell. "I'm so sorry for putting you through this," Her eyes were red and puffy when she looked up at him.

"Don't apolog-"

"I should have been there for you and I wasn't and who knows how you're handling the trauma. I'm so sorry," She was openly crying. He wanted so badly to hold her- to assure her that everything was ok. But he had to keep his distance for her sake.

"It's ok! I promise it's ok. I just want you to be safe and ok. I love you so much, kiddo. I'll do whatever it takes to help you get better."

"I love you, too. I wish it didn't have to be like this."

"I know. But at least we get this time together. I can't tell you how much it means to me to talk with you again. I've missed it so muc-" A loud bark from outside interrupted their conversation. He got up to see a group of kids chasing a stray dog through the Victor's housing section. "Stupid kids," He chuckled, turning back to face her.

She had stood up, her chest heaving, her eyes flying across the room. Her hands were against her head, tapping to some internal rhythm.

"Hey, it's ok," He took a few steps towards her. "It's just a dog…" Slowly, the memory of them killing the pair from 12 floated through his mind. The hybrid monsters were barking that night. Panic began to sweep his body. "Hey, listen to me. You're ok, you're safe, you're here with me."

She was backing up to a corner in her room.

"No no no no nononono," Her tapping became frantic. "I don't want to die! Let me leave! I want to go home! No no no!" She bumped into a mirror and whirled around, throwing her fist into it. The mirror easily shattered to the ground.

"Hey, listen to me," He lowered his voice and put his hands up. "Look at me, kiddo," Her petrified eyes flew up to his. "You're ok, I promise. It's ok. Just stay here with me." Her bloodied knuckles came down from her head and she took a step towards him. He took another step towards her.

He had almost reached her when a bark echoed throughout the neighborhood.

He rapidly took a step towards her, hoping to grab her hands before she began to beat her head again but she was too fast. She stepped back and ducked out of his arms reach.

"Leave me alone!" She had screamed, reaching on the ground for the nearest object. "I just want to go home! _Stay away from me!" _She thrust her arm forward and he felt an instant warmth.

He knew what happened without looking down. A piece of the broken mirror had invaded his chest. A cough snuck out of him. The veil behind her eyes disappeared.

"Cato?"

"It's ok. I'll always love you," He managed before collapsing on the ground.

A single scream carried through the house that night.

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When the nurse returned to the room the next morning, a gruesome scene welcomed her.

The body of a prized and beloved Victor was on the ground, a mirror shard embedded in his chest.

In the corner of the room sat his lover rocking back and forth.

"Mocking. Always laughing. Can't climb the tree. So cold and hungry but don't let them know. Don't die. Stay alive. You're just a child. _They're just children! _Just children. One bird two bird. Answer the questions. Smile. Don't flinch. It will all be over soon."


End file.
